...what now?

Since June 19th I have been revved up and ready to go. To go where? I'm not quite sure, but I know I want to get there. Part of that feeling I know is related to medications I'm on and part is due to my personality. The hardest part now, however, is what to do?
I was working as an ultrasound tech only 2 days a week before I got my transplant, but it was more than not working at all. And now, I can't work at all for at least 3 months. Even then, it will be hard because I'll lose my Medicaid. And I know I would never earn enough just to cover co-pays without it. My healthcare coverage has become my priority, not going out and living. Every choice I make now has to go back to "what if I lose coverage". Granted, I would do transplant all over again, and it seems like a minor interference compared to not breathing-but it is hard to deal with.
I have felt so darn isolated since I can't work and don't live near anyone. People also have been going on living, doing things- I feel I'm missing out on. Again, I'm grateful to be here and be alive-but it is human nature to compare yourself to others. I know of at least 7 girls who are pregnant and expecting little bundles of joy. Plus 2 who just had them! I won't know that excitement. I'm not going to lie, I'm jealous. Jon and I were talking about this the other day, and when I say it out loud I realize I have been given a life-my own. Plus, my dogs are always a treasure =) I think any woman though would understand what I mean. I've been blessed that Jon is okay with what happens one way or another-he just wants me to be healthy and happy. Plus, right now I think he kind of enjoys not having ANOTHER person to care for.
On another note, I had clinic on Monday. This was an adventure! I think it was the nurse's first day-EVER! She seemed very lost and confused by almost everything I said. Since I felt like I knew the routine, it was almost comical to see her scramble. Everyone there seemed to be new too, and that kind of scared me. Why is everyone either leaving or getting fired? The good news was my numbers seemed stable again. We are adding a calcium channel blocker to lower my diastolic pressure and heart rate and changing my antidepressant. We also increased my AM dose of insulin so I'm not shooting myself up with a million units extra a day. Other than that, I'll have a bronch in 2 weeks and if that is ok I can start tapering down off the steroids! I'm pretty excited about this since I won't be so moody and my face won't be so puffy =)We also got to meet two elderly men who were getting I.V's in the same room, and each got one lung from the same donor. Pretty amazing. They were 2 weeks post-transplant, and the one guy who was 70 didn't look a day past 50! I was impressed! Although he was doing the 'narcotic head bob' and his wife would yell at him and say "Honey, pay attention we need to count how many meds you are on so when they quiz us we know!" LOL I love the elderly!
I think its nap time now, since I couldn't sleep due to a massive headache I had all night last night. I think its related to my evening walks and allergies, but man do I enjoy those walks! Hope everyone has a great rest of the week!